


Giving Up

by fefetama (CreepingCatalyst)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Based on a True Story, Character Death, Depression, Domestic Violence, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Real Events, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Sadstuck, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 20:57:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepingCatalyst/pseuds/fefetama
Summary: Terezi is an 18 yo alcoholic in a humanstuck AU. Flashes to the past show what happened and why. Not a happy ending.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there. This is a sadstuck and is very graphic and triggering. TW: rape, physical abuse, sexual manipulation, and death ahead.  
> If any of those will trigger you please do not read.  
> That being said, if you do read I hope I make you cry c: (in a good way)  
> Anyway, I've prioritized a different fic over this one for the time being so I'm not sure when I'll update. But I won't drop it, I promise. Read away.

Say Something  
Chapter 1

Say something I'm giving up on you.  
I'll be the one, if you want me to.  
Anywhere I, would've followed you.  
Say something I'm giving up on you.

((No, this isn't one of those annoying fics that interrupt the flow of the story with stupid song lyrics. That's all.))

Terezi Pyrope, 18 years old, sits alone in her living room. She lies on her bed listening to music. A handle of the cheapest vodka they sell and a half-full bottle of root beer sit next to her bed, open. A shot glass holds just a dribble in the bottom. The clock reads 11:05pm.  
The girl stares at the wall, thinking of her ex lover.  
Well, lover is a strong word...  
A boy named Gamzee.  
She listens to the solemn ballads and tries to remember his features exactly. She gets close but not quite perfect every time.  
The song ends and she gets up. She sways a bit but steadies herself and heads downstairs. She puts on a black coat on the hook behind the door and slips on combat boots, but doesn't zip them up. Carefully opening the old door and quietly closing it behind her, she sits on the cold concrete. A cigarette and bic are pulled from a pocket and she lights it, glancing at the sky.  
Too cloudy to see the stars.  
Taking a drag, she plays a song from a playlist she made for an idea for a comic she has. It's intense and fast, nothing that requires thought or concentration anymore. She can't do that right now.  
The redhead closes her eyes and imagines her characters fighting valiantly, like in the shows and comics she loves so much.  
The sadness is elsewhere for the time being.

7 Months Earlier

"Hey, dumdum!" Terezi says cheerfully, greeting a boy as she opens the door to a blue soccer mom van.  
"Hey," Gamzee replies and starts the car. He backs out of the parking space and speaks. "What's up?"  
"Eh nothing really, you know the drill," She trills. The drill being her debilitating and crippling depression along with its friend, an inferiority complex. "How 'bout you?"  
"Same same. I've been thinking about dropping out of college," He replies, driving.  
"What?" Terezi questions with a quirk of an eyebrow. "Why?"  
"Well, I'm not doing too well and I'll lose my scholarship soon. Plus I realized I already know everything they're teaching cuz of my business," Gam answers simply. His business being dealing weed for three years.  
"Oh! Okay... Well, I think there are pros and cons to staying and dropping out."  
"Yeah..." He says in a tone that implies he already made a decision.  
"But if you're not happy then yeah, do it. But you need to figure out what you'll do instead first."  
The car stops deep in a suburban neighborhood, power lines in grassy clearings on either side. The two remove their seat belts and get out.  
"Do you have cigarettes?" Gamzee asks, taking out a pack.  
"Yeah but I have two right now," TZ says in reply, taking out hers. "I hate menthol anyway."  
He nods and lights both their cigs. "So how've you been."  
She takes a drag and blows it out, watching the smoke swirl up into the night sky. "I been okay."  
A half-lie. She meant she's been worse.  
"Yeah me too."  
They chat and finish their smokes before getting in the back seat.  
"What do you have?" Terezi asks.  
"Whiskey and gin," He says, taking two bottles out of his black backpack.  
"Cool. Chasers?"  
"Just water."  
"Fuck!"  
"We can go to my house," He offers, knowing it's nearby.  
"Eh," TZ wrinkles her nose, imagining the taste and deliberating a moment. "Yeah lets do that."  
They drive the three blocks back through the winding neighborhood and stop in a driveway. All the lights are off in the large house. The car's clock reads 11:14pm.  
"Do you wanna come in?" He asks, getting out.  
"No that's okay," She says. Bad memories surround that house.  
"Be right back."  
She takes out her phone and checks for texts from her parents. They haven't found out she's snuck out again, as her inbox is empty. She clicks it to sleep and looks out the window at the dark familiar lawn. A tire swing hangs from a tree and a small jungle jim sits nearby. She smiles, thinking of the cute little siblings she'd met a few times.  
The driver door opens and startles her. She jumps. "Oh hi."  
"Hey, I got a coke," He says, putting on his seatbelt.  
"Cool," She says simply, although she didn't like coke.  
They get back to the clearings and get in the back seat.  
"Y'know, today's his birthday," Terezi says, watching Gamzee open the booze.  
"Yeah, I know," He says solemnly and opens the soda with a fizzing pop.  
"Drinks to Sollux," Terezi says, raising a medicine bottle.  
"To Sollux," Gam clinks another orange bottle to hers then fills them both up.  
"You put too much!" She protests, eyeing her bottle, filled to the brim.  
"Just take the shot," He says in a mock-irritated tone, and takes his.  
"You take it! Or half," She demands, offering the "glass".  
"Fine," He takes it.  
"Let me pour mine," She takes the whiskey and does so. She holds the soda in one hand, shot in the other, and takes it with a shiver. Gross. Sitting back against the door, she asks hesitantly, "...Do you remember anything about Sollux?"  
"Mm, not much," He says, thinking.  
She quirks an eyebrow. "Why not?"  
"I donno," Gam fills the glasses again.  
"...Me neither."  
Terezi felt bad for it, but for the life of her, all she could remember was his face when he smiled.

Later

A certain redhead was feeling a bit more cuddly in her drunken state. She felt warm and fuzzy, laying back on Gamzee's lap.  
"I think I'm gonna try expanding my business to a wider area and hand off some things to the minions," The boy says, stroking Terezi's hair.  
She looks up at blue eyes and long, straight brown hair. Cute glasses rest on his nose. She sits up and gives him a kiss, long and hard like they used to, their glasses clink. One of the few sweet memories of their relationship nearly two years ago.  
He smiles wide, a goofy smile that she loves. "I'll get you a pack of cigs. When do you need to be home?"  
Her heart drops a little and she looks at her phone for the time. 12:10am. She pauses a moment, forcing herself to stay long enough that would suit him. "One." She hopes he doesn't try to initiate sex, but knows that's not likely. Sex has never been pleasant for her, and tonight she didn't feel very indulgent.  
"Okay," He says, immediately groping her boobs.  
"Not tonight," She says, gently pushing his hands away. She doesn't refuse very often, out of fear. But she wasn't sure what she was afraid of.  
"Come on," He says, replacing a hand and the other plays with the bottom of her shirt.  
"No, sorry," She says with an anxious but polite little smile.  
She pushes the hands away again and Gamzee gets irritated.  
"Fine. Fine," He spits, holding his hands up.  
"You don't have to get me cigarettes," She offers, guilt oozing in her chest.  
"No, it's fine. Let's get them now, I have shit to do," He says angrily.  
Sad but trying not to show it, she follows suit in returning to the front seats.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually made a playlist for this fic if anybody is interested. Comment if you are and I'll post the link in the next update.  
> Hope you're doing okay.


End file.
